Thursday, May 26, 2005

Hugs for Haji

In an effort to deflate the hate and increase the peace, I have concocted an international program to make many liberal Americans' foreign policy a reality. The program is based on the State Police's famous program "Hugs Not Drugs" in which a State Trooper, while arresting Mommy or Daddy for DUI or speeding, would hand little Timmy or Jane a small stuffed bear. Similarly, when soldiers come in contact with insurgents, a small stuffed eagle, holding a Koran under its wing, will be handed over. The hope is that this overt act of compassion and tolerance, a symbol of unity, will overpower the hatred in the insurgents' hearts. I call this new program, Hugs for Haji.

If you would like to participate, please make a large donation using the link on the right side of this page. If you can't afford a monetary committment but would like a Haji pen pal, please post your name, address, phone number, photo, and credit card number (with expiration date) in the comments section. Someone will definitely be in contact soon.


Blogger Crystal said...

always the sarcastic voice of unreasonable reason

Blogger Dorman said...

come on now, just trying to start some compassion :) Just for that I won't tell you the news about Terry Schiavo.

Blogger Crystal said...

oh darn

Blogger SnotSucker said...

Sooo this is the humanitarian portion of your mission?? :)

Blogger Dorman said...

Yes, our basic load of ammo has been reduced from 210 rounds (if you carry an M16 or M4) and 800 rounds (M249 like me) to one Barney Fife-like bullet. This allows each soldier to carry upwards of 5 koran toting eagles, and stay focused on the love. Since we only have that one round, we HAVE to focus on getting Haji to love us, else we'd lose our heads in anger.

Anonymous maggiemay said...

I just read your site for the first time. someone passed it on to me--my husband was in the gulf war and always liked to get communication of any kind!! when I read this one I couldn't believe it, but you are so right that this would be a typical comment we've all heard!! Kinda like flowers in the end of a machine gun barrel

Blogger SnotSucker said...

You may want to change your Eagle to a dove. More peaceful. Anyway, the eagle will probably just incite more anger and result in more jihad. It is after all, a symbol of the almighty America.

Blogger Crystal said...

yeah, i think a dove would have been nicer...

Blogger Dorman said...

The eagleis a symbol of America,in case you've forgotten. A symbol of America embracing the symbol of Islam. Fitting. Nicer would have been a Barney holding a Koran. Barney, an even better symbol of American culture; re4peat mindless phrases enough until the subjects have it embedded in their consciousness, mindlessly simple in thoguht formulation, fat, dopic, and a representation of a marketing craze.....

Thanks for making me rethink this,now what am I going to do with all these stuffed eagles?

Blogger Crystal said...

and a dove is an international symbol of peace. i was just agreeing with snotsucker,

gah, jeez,

maybe we should have just handed out dvd's of napoleon dynamite. might be an even better represenation of american culture than even barney!

Blogger molean1 said...

You know you can't blame him for just speaking what alot of us are thinking on a daily basis.

What I am confused about is we never finished what we started in Afghanistan and because this country must suffer from ADD or something they decided that we didn't like how Saddam was running his country, so they run over and proceeded to kick his doors in............who's next? North Korea?? Cuba??Maybe we'll make alittle visit to ole' Fidel, come on enough is enough.

It is evident that Iraq does not play nice in their sand box and it is time to take our ball and go home.......we have so much we need to focus on within our own borders I am sure we could be amused for decades. Peace should begin at home.

I am living through a lost unimaginable right now from this war, which included an Arlington burial on May 17th so I'm sorry if I sound bitter but frankly when I hear people protesting this war and running around yelling about world peace I have come to the conclusion that my Give-a-damn is busted

Blogger Crystal said...

im sorry for your loss

Blogger Dorman said...

Iran is next. Crys, I want to send you one of my (now extra) koran-toting eagles :) And if I would have gotten here sufficiently before the elections in January, Baghdad would have been plastered with "Vote for Pedro" papers!

Blogger molean1 said...

Iran, hmmmm well now that is a comforting thought isn't it.....hopefully you will be back and not have to deal with that sandbox too....It's ok Crys, sorry for the vent but some days are better than others......

Blogger Crystal said...

i think iran is next too, we finally agree on something!!! :)

Blogger Crystal said...

you should, should i leave my address on here, along with my credit card info so you can ship it free of cost to you?

Blogger Robert Chase said...

I think you should hand out fliers with the pic of the crispy dude and the word:


underneathe ;)


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