Sunday, July 24, 2005

Everybody Loves Dorman.....

Since things have been slow here, and my personal issues have been almost completely worked out now, I have nothing spectacular to write about. At least nothing militarily spectacular. I figured I would take some time and answer some interesting questions from readers. It just so happens that the other week I was emailed a nice list of here it goes.
Where did you do basic training?

Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. Probably the most screwed up place in America when it comes to weather.

How old were you when you enlisted?

34, age limit was 35. I turned 35 in Basic.

What made you decide to enlist?

Lots of reasons. I was sitting at a desk job all the time getting round in the middle,was doing nothing exciting. My consulting business was taking off and I was doing phone interviews with ESPN for a Systems Admin job (thanks Siva!!), but the deadline on joining the Army was coming up and I wanted to do something more than struggle in business. Germany was part of my deal, I got everything I wanted when I signed up. I love Army life, best job I ever had. The Army is wonderful, the current administration that uses us is where my unsettledness comes from.

If you could live beside one famous person who would it be?

Brad Pitt. We'd have fun. Bet you thought I'd say the Dalai Lama or Shannon Elizabeth. No, I am not gay either, not that there's anything wrong with that. (to quote Seinfeld)

How do you know what to do on a daily basis?? Same thing daily?

My overall role is defined, then I operate within parameters which I set up and worked out with those in charge of other responsibilities. Otherwise, I decide what we do since I run the shop.

Who's responsible for cleaning the shitter?

Haji (no sympathy there)

How often can you take showers?

Practically = whenever the water is on, Abidingly = once a day, Realistically = due to water shortages I have had 3 this month, trying to take my 4th today.

Would you rather be rich or famous?

Famous, fame can bring money. Plus I would rather have someone happy to see me when I arrive than be wealthy and risk being alone. People buy you beer when you're famous.

What if you are on a convoy and you have to poop?

Then it becomes very uncomfortable riding in a bumpy HMMWV. Pinch and Pray.

Does someone come around and collect your laundry?

No. We have laundry drop off points. KBR hires Haji to do our clothes. Sarge works at main laundry. He washes my underwear ;)

What kind of food is served in the mess?

It differs from FOB to FOB. Our food preps are very cool people....Babu is one of them as you remember. But the food sucks, no real butter - everything is done in oil. Makes me nauseous after I eat. So CARE packages should contain protein bars, beer pretzels, Cup-o-Ramens, and gobstoppers if anyone is ever so inclined. That way I can skip meals.

Do you have to make your bed every day?

Only if they threaten to check. I have a camo blanket hanging in front of mine.

Do you have to worry about people stealing when you aren't there?

Yes and no. The CHUs have locks on them but where I live is different. I am in a high traffic area and we all know each other. The 1SG has a peeve too about thieves so if anyone got caught stealing I am sure he/she would need to make an appointment at the medical center.

How many people report to you?

Just 1.... Baker

What is your rank?

Specialist, operating in an E-5 slot.

If you could possess one superpower, what would it be?

Besides the 2 I have? Hmmmm.... morphing, I suppose. Or maybe Stupidity. Stupid people seem to get away with murder and run the world. Don't underestimate the power of stupidity! (and don't anyone say that stupidity is already one of my 2 claimed super powers.....not funny)

Do you ever get a day off?

Kinda, Sunday is my "off-tempo day" . I am like a fireman anyway, I get to work when there is a need.

Can you bring that cute dog home? I love him!!!

No Buddy can't come back with me. But I do fully support and recommend Dog Rescue organizations. I got my one dog, Zero, from a Pointer Rescue organization from Athens, GA. The other, a German Shorthaired Pointer, Abby, was from the SPCA.

Do you have TV?

Yes, AFN channels only. But we have several Hajis selling black market DVDs of movies and boxed sets of TV series. I brought a lot of music, movies, and series from home. So I spend most of my entertainment time watching Everybody Loves Raymond episodes.

How long have you lived in Deutschland? Are you fluent yet?

18 months before being sent here. I plan to extend after the deployment and possibly stay there after the Army. I can read German decently, I can understand most everything when listening to Rammstein or Eisbrecher, I can hold basic short conversations, but not near fluent. Aber, Ich moechte sein.

How many holes does it take to fill the Albert Hall?

Ad hoc, Ad loc, and quid pro quo. So little time, so much to know!
There ya have it. A brief glimpse behind the curtain. Any further questions? Just ask in the comments section.


Blogger Dorman said...

Some other personal trivia....

I have an aversion to cardboard (brown box type)

I suffer from EHS (Exploding Head Syndrome), latest occurrence was beginning of July. Started 12 years ago.

I spit to the left almost every time.

Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Always fun to learn new and interesting things about people. What is your favorite color? Why do you have an aversion to cardboard? Ummm...if you get to live by Brad Pitt, can I come too? Please? Pretty, pretty please? I'm not above begging or bribery. ;)

Blogger Dorman said...

Fav color: Black (like my heart)

I can't stand the feeling on my hands when my skin is dry. Touching cardboard gives me pins-and-needles.

That is exactly why I want to live next to B.P. The constant stream of hot women and I won't even have to work at it.

Blogger Carnealian said...

Exploding Head Syndrome...I read the wiki article but I swear you made that up. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard of. Do you scare the crap out of your wife like every night with that?

The cardboard thing I can understand. I have been told I must have been tactiley deprived as a child. You don't want to see me in the bath towel section of a store.

Are you left handed? I'm thinking about the spitting thing. Most people when speaking in public will likely focus on their dominant hand side of the room. Or when someone looks away to think about something they look the direction of their dominant hand.

Bottle up the olive-oil filth and I'm sure B.P. will be moving next to you!! ;P

Blogger Dorman said...

I am right handed and I have scared the crap out of my wife with Night Terrors over the years. They have thankfully subsided over the last 3 years. I have actually put my hand through a mirror and crawled up the wall while in the throes of these things.

The EHS is harmless but weird. First time it happened I thought that something shorted out in the bedroom because I saw a bolt of lightning and heard the immense crack, scared me awake. I asked my wife if she heard it but she was still sleeping. It is a very real experience.

Blogger Carnealian said...

A myclonic jerk is scary most of the time, I can't imagine EHS...very scary.

Blogger InterstellarLass said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that your heart is not black as you say. As is evidenced in this blog, you are passionate and caring about many things. A person with a black heart would not be so. Perhaps a bit bruised (isn't everybody's?) but not black. Chin up. :)

Blogger Robert Chase said...

Exploding Head Syndrome?

I used to have that, but now that M and I are apart, I no longer have to worry about that. :(
I think sometimes I'd be better off with a black heart.

Anyways, BP wouldn't like living next to us in Switzerland, anyways. :)

Blogger Dorman said...

Oh, one last factoid that I can't believe I forgot to include....

When I sneeze even number of times, I know I will be ok. If I seeze an odd number of times, then I know Iwill be sick within 24 hours.

anyone have a medical explanation for this?

Blogger SnotSucker said...

Uh, no. It's sometimes referred to as coincidence and overanalyzation ;)

Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Othertimes referred to as hypochondria. I typically only sneeze once. But I never considered that it meant anything if I sneezed more than once...other than something was really tickling my nose.


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