Friday, February 17, 2006

Joe Takes a Dive

Last night was a horrible night socially for me, the first of such since I've been in Germany. But there was one single shining bright spot in the whole mess. Or as I would prefer to look at it; one whole kernel still in the turd.

Five of us guys met up with five German girls, usually a good recipe but not tonight. So SpiderLord and I ended up trying unsuccessfully to find somewhere else to go. All of us ended up on top of this very small stage in a corner dancing to rather crappy music while a small sea of Germans danced balls-to-back on the floor. Not a great place to meet people, mingle, or talk since everyone stayed in their own exact spot the whole time. Anyway, we saw another soldier friend; Joe. You know him by now.

Joe lost a lot of weight and feels proud, so while he was up on the stage drunkenly dancing, he decided to remove his shirt. That gets noticed but not encouraged by the crowd. Then he dropped his pants around his ankles. Good thing for boxer shorts. He continued dancing on the stage while becoming the laughable topic of the crowd. Shortly before this, I had been joking with SpiderLord about going stage diving. We both laughed and shrugged it off.

Apparently one of our German girls didn't. Once Joe reached the fever pitch of ridicule, German Girl came from behind and pushed Joe forward off stage. Just enough so that he would have to make a conscious decision of whether to try to fight for balance or go with it and dive. He dove. He dove ungracefully into the unwilling crowd with his pants still around his ankles and his shirt in his hand. Two people apparently thought about trying to catch him. Two. So Joe had his fall slightly slowed by a few gentle hands.

Splat! Joe hits floor. We all started cracking up, the entire place. Joe gets up, totally pissed once he realized that we weren't laughing with him. He scanned the crowd on the stage for the culprit but German Girl ducked in behind us.

Poor Joe, left with nothing but to pull up his pants and try to regain some dignity. Never underestimate the greater misfortune of others to make you realize that your current situation isn't so bad.


Blogger Carnealian said...

Is that last quote a Dorman original? I mean, can I add it to the list?

So, Germans don't stage dive? What's wrong with them? Besides the obvious?

Anonymous Findley Labrador said...

And THAT is another reason why David Hasselhoff DOESN'T like Germans!

Blogger mattandriver said...

See Carn, everybody falls.....

Nice post dude. If you get a chance, step back in and let me know about the rest of your night.

Blogger Dorman said...

yes, another original quote.

Blogger Carnealian said...

And...since when do you dance??

Blogger Robert Chase said...

And...since when do you dance??

I'm not one to talk, but yeah, no shit.

btw, deanie, i bought my tix. will be there on the 7th of april. will send you the itinerary and everything later on.

Blogger Dorman said...

I dance since you C.

here's a nifty little anecdote from last night.

I saw a german girl whom I described as "mein Engel", really wanted to meet her but after not being able to speak enough german to hook up with another girl that liked me, i was a bit hesitant. She was there with 4 of her friends, one which was a dwarf. Yes, roughly 2'10" tall.

SpiderLord hooked up with the dwarf to facilitate me talking to mein Engel. Uh, but after he hooked up, I couldn't find mein Engel in the club. Ooops. But how many friends would take a dwarf for ya?

Blogger SnotSucker said...

after not being able to speak enough german
Was bin ich dabei, mit Ihnen zu tun?
You're a huge disappointment to me ;) NOW GO HOME & STUDY!

Blogger SnotSucker said...

These should get you started :)...

1. Can I take you home with me?
Kann ich Sie nach Hause mit mir nehmen?

2. Can I stick my tongue down your throat?
Kann ich meine Zunge unten Ihr Hals durchstechen?

3. Can I get in your pants?
Kann ich in Ihren Hosen kommen?

Blogger Carnealian said...

Well, Spiderlord is a true friend. I would only take on a deaf guy, never a dwarf!!

Since you dance now, you better bring your dancing shoes when you're home next time. I expect to see some bumping and grinding.

And just one more phrase that may be helpful with the German girls: Wie um wir waschen auf zuerst?

Blogger mattandriver said...

I would only take on a deaf guy, never a dwarf!!

That's funny! How do you say "he gave me a hickey"?

Blogger mattandriver said...

If I was single, I'd be all over that dwarf.

Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Wow. A wingman that'll take on the dwarf for you? Aren't there like "wingman of the year" awards or something? That's awesome.

Blogger InterstellarLass said...

What is up Dean-O!?!?

Blogger Crystal said...

man, you are becoming one of those bloggers that doesn't blog. that's terribly sad

Blogger Robert Chase said...

man, you are becoming one of those bloggers that doesn't blog. that's terribly sad

Yeah. loser. ;-)

Blogger Dorman said...

sorry everyone, just having some issues right now; stuff I'd rather not put on public display. I miss Iraq.

Blogger Dorman said...

My current self-portrait is way too accurate.

Blogger Meat Puppet said...

dignity? Since when have I had dignity? hahaha, i'm awesome.


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